The Love Your Vibe Podcast Episode 4, Healthy Boundaries πŸ’ž

The Love Your Vibe Podcast

The Love your Vibe Podcast Episode 4, Healthy Boundaries πŸ’ž

Warm Greetings, beautiful soul!

It’s a PERFECT time to ‘Love Your Vibe’ and learn more about how YOUR Personal Development/Inner Work can serve you AND our world in the most beautiful way!

You are invited to tune into HIGH VIBE conversations with , Miracle Mindset CoacHealer and Founder of #TheLoveYourVibeTransformation & I, Eleanor Hayward, Holistic Eleanor, and consider joining our ‘Revolution of Evolution’!

You will be in the right place, if you are a kind and heart-centered human, looking to learn new ways of showing up, aligned, authentic and FULLY self-expressed 🌟

In Episode 4 (trailer), “Eleanor and I are going to be speaking about healthy boundaries. I’ll be sharing a story and a simple tool that is very effective in helping us to take back our power. We hope that you enjoy the teachings and gain value for your own life too!”

PLEASE TUNE IN

#SelfLoveIsTheBestLove #PersonalDevelopment #InnerWork #SelfGrowthJourney #LoveYourVibe #Podcast #Transformation

β€œWords are our most inexhaustible source of magic,” ~Albus Dumbledore”

Transcript:

Elvira Hopper 0:05
Welcome to The Love Your Vibe Podcast, it’s A Revolution of Evolution. You are in the right place if you are a kind and heart-centered person looking to learn new ways of showing up, aligned, authentic and fully self-expressed. If everyone did this work on the planet, don’t you think it could be heaven on earth? I’m Elvira Hopper, and I’m in the studio with Eleanor Hayward, and we are so thrilled that you’ve joined us.

In this episode, Eleanor and I are going to be speaking about healthy boundaries. I’ll be sharing a story and a simple tool that is very effective in helping us to take back our power. We hope that you enjoy the teachings and gain value for your own life too. So Eleanor!

Eleanor Hayward 0:58
Hi Elvira!

Elvira Hopper 0:59
How are you?

Eleanor Hayward 0:59
I’m fantastic. Thank you back in the studio.

Elvira Hopper 1:03
It’s so much fun to be here with you and Stephan I love it, it’s my little heaven.

Eleanor Hayward 1:07
It really is.

Elvira Hopper 1:08
So today, we’re going to talk about healthy boundaries.

Eleanor Hayward 1:12
So juicy! I love healthy boundaries. What do you think of when you hear boundaries?

Elvira Hopper 1:16
Well, when I hear boundaries, I think of self love. And I think of I think of having good boundaries, so that nobody crosses them. Because when we practice self love, when we really truly do love ourselves, we tend to have better boundaries, because it’s like, no, I don’t believe in what you’re thinking about me, because this is what I think about me. And therefore, we can just step away and have better boundaries with people, healthier boundaries. Does that make sense?

Eleanor Hayward 1:49
It does make sense?

Elvira Hopper 1:50
Yeah. How about you?

Eleanor Hayward 1:51
What’s the opposite of having good boundaries, then?

Elvira Hopper 1:54
Crappy boundaries!

Both 1:58
LOL

Elvira Hopper 1:58
Yeah, I mean, yeah, there’s so many people with loosey goosey boundaries, right? And, and they don’t realize that they’re giving their power away to others. And as a result, they’re struggling. And they don’t know why. Right? So this is what happens when we live unconsciously right? When we’re not living in alignment with who we truly are. When we are living to get outside approval of us, right, because we don’t validate ourselves, we need it from others. And this is kind of the opposite of self love. It’s needing their love in order to feel good about ourselves. So yeah, so self love is really about, you know, sorry, healthy boundaries is about self love to me. So do you want to go into what it means to you?

Eleanor Hayward 2:42
I agree. And I have found that with The Love Your Vibe Transformation, especially is the more that I love myself, and as we were talking last time, the difference between judgment and discernment, that I can discern where my boundaries are. Whereas when I didn’t love myself as much, and I walked around, doubting myself and getting stuck in shame and kicking myself, that I was judging myself. And it was easier to be taken advantage of, I think, because I was really unconscious and taking advantage of myself. Yeah, in a way in a manner of speaking.

Elvira Hopper 3:19
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 3:20
Does that make sense?

Elvira Hopper 3:20
That makes total sense. Yeah. In fact, I posted something very similar on my Instagram today, Rupi Kaur, shout out to her! Saying her last name, right? K-A-U-R,

Eleanor Hayward 3:31
I believe so.

Elvira Hopper 3:32
Yeah. She She basically has amazing poetry. It just cuts right to your core. And she basically said, Oh, my gosh, now I’m not going to be able to remember, but it was something about, don’t treat yourself any way that you don’t want another person to treat you.

Eleanor Hayward 3:46
Mm hmm.

Elvira Hopper 3:48
And I’m saying it wrong..

Eleanor Hayward 3:49
Paraphrasing.

Elvira Hopper 3:49
..because she said much more eloquently. But that was it, and what you just said, like you were judging yourself, right? So when we are judging ourselves, then you know, we are, we have targets on our back. Because others are going to judge us too. It’s like, we’re saying, kick me, I’m judging myself. Therefore, you can judge me too. You can kick me and, and it’s so sad because it happens all the time. And, and for me..

Eleanor Hayward 4:17
Daily.

Elvira Hopper 4:17
..it’s the awareness. Yeah, you see people walking around and they are you know, you know, they’re, you can tell there’s not a lot of self love, you can tell there’s a lot of people pleasing and needing others to validate them and..

Eleanor Hayward 4:30
Yes.

Elvira Hopper 4:30
..they’re not really loving themselves. And then you see the people that are loving themselves. And you see the confidence and the, the peace that they have, you know, like I’m, you know, I work in this world of personal development and transformation. And, you know, I’m exposed to to some people that really have it together and it’s just, I’m in awe, you know, of just how much they are in a place of peace and self love. And good boundaries. And they’re able to state things with love. Like I’m getting better, you know, but some people are doing it really, really great out there. And I’m just so inspired by them. So yeah, so let’s, let’s talk a little bit about the, the, the system that I channeled when I hit my, my point of ‘oh my goodness, I can’t do this anymore’..

Eleanor Hayward 5:22
Please.

Elvira Hopper 5:21
..with my cousin. Yeah. So so this is actually an, a teaching that’s on my website of Elvirahopper.com. And you can grab it there if you want to see the full, I’ll touch on pieces today, but I want I want to share that with you in case there’s, you want to go deeper into it. But yeah, it’s a really cool teaching that was gifted to me when I was about to go into a, you know, Easter or Christmas with my family. And my cousin, God bless her. She does the best that she can, and she is very religious. We’re going to be talking about that in the next podcast. She is very religious, she’s not spiritual. And so I feel when she comes well, at that time, when she was coming to my home, I felt very judged by her, you know? ‘You don’t have enough crosses here. Where’s the holy water?’ You know, you know, ‘we need to pray now’ we, you know, like, all these things that were like, Ah, I don’t identify with being Catholic anymore. And she was very Catholic. So imagine her coming over and wanting to, you know, take over the show at my home at, at our at our, you know, family celebrations. So this was something she did consistently. Why? Because I let her because we all let her

Eleanor Hayward 5:56
She wanted something familiar and something comfortable, I imagine and thought that she could impose her will upon you.

Elvira Hopper 6:44
Yeah. And she’s she’s dogmatic. She’s a religious zealot. So this is what she does, that she doesn’t know any other way of being. Right. It’s like, if she knew another way, she would maybe do another way, but, but she would, you know, force her opinions on us. And she would be, you know, very judgmental of us and our lack of, you know, religiosity. And so anyway, I was, you know, the way our events always ended up was me and her yelling and screaming at each other because

Eleanor Hayward 7:14
Raised voices?

Elvira Hopper 7:14
Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, a lot. Italians tend to yell at the best of times. Like it was really, really..

Eleanor Hayward 7:20
Best of times and the worst of times!

Elvira Hopper 7:22
Yes, exactly. So anyways, I was I was waiting to give another party I was think it was the night before. And it was Easter Christmas. I can’t remember. But I was like, okay, you know, I’ve been a coach now for a couple years, I got Love Your Vibe. And yet I’m still afraid of receiving my cousin because I’m afraid of the interaction that’s going to happen, because it’s going to be so crazy.

Eleanor Hayward 7:47
You’re anticipating the displeasure of it?

Elvira Hopper 7:49
Yes. And so all of a sudden, I got downloaded with The Four Circles of Personal Power. And what I realized, well, here’s how it went. The next day, she comes over. And she starts, after we finished dinner, she starts talking about well, ‘you don’t believe in the Law of Attraction, do you’? And I said, ‘Well, actually, yeah, I do. The Law of Attraction kind of saved my life’. Because it’s what Love Your Vibe Miracle Mindset is based on, And she goes, ‘Oh, well, I can’t believe that, you know, you’re, you’re, you know, you’re mis.. you’re misled. And I’m gonna send you, you know, this video. And you’ve got to watch this’. And like she was trying to talk me out of the fact that I believed in Law of Attraction, right? And I just looked at her and I was like, I didn’t get upset as I normally would. I just said, ‘I’m fine. Thank you very much’. And I literally just got up, and I walked away. And she got up in a huff, and marched out my door and slammed the door shut.

Eleanor Hayward 7:49
Oh, wow.

Elvira Hopper 7:50
So I don’t know where she went. I think she went to church to pray for my soul. But, but here’s what happened. I did not get upset. The old me would have freaked out and said to the family, ‘can you believe her? Every time she comes over she’s always gonna wreck the party. And, and you know, that, you know, she’s so religious, and she’s always trying to shove it down our throats’. And it wasn’t just me, she would do this to everybody else in the family too. But anyway, I didn’t do that. She left. And I just calmly went into the living room. And I said to everybody sitting there because we’d all kind of separated after dinner and and they were sitting there and I said, ‘coffee dessert anyone’? And they looked at me like I had three heads. Why wasn’t I yelling and screaming and upset that my cousin just left right? So I just got dessert and coffee and brought it to them and and then she comes back later, maybe an hour or two later, and she comes to the door. You know what I said to her? Hi sweetie, would you like some coffee and dessert? And that was it.

Eleanor Hayward 9:57
Beautiful!

Elvira Hopper 9:58
She she knew that she couldn’t touch me anymore. And as a result, she has never tried to bully me again. She’s never tried to shove anything down my throat. She tries to bully everybody else in the family. But she knows that she can’t touch me because I got The Four Circles of Personal Power. And that was protecting me. So today, we have a great relationship in the sense that she’s not in my Inner Circle. And you know, we’ll talk more about that or you can learn more about it online. But it was, she’s not my Inner Circle. She’s in my Far Outer Circle. I love her from a distance, right? The Far Outer Circle, look what that spells–Far Outer Circle F.O.C. So I have FOC’d her with love and light. She’s in my Far Outer Circle, and she can’t touch me anymore. Vibrationally I am not touchable.

Eleanor Hayward 10:46
So what does that mean to you then?

Elvira Hopper 10:48
Well, let me tell you the rest of, yeah, the rest of the story. So the next day, my brother calls me. And he says, ‘Elvira, were you on drugs yesterday?’

Both 10:58
LOL

Elvira Hopper 11:00
And I said, No, bro, I got this really cool tool that I’m now using. And I’ll tell you about it one day if you want to hear more. But I don’t share my my tools with my brother because he’s, he’s also religious, not quite as religious as her. And this work is about spirituality. It’s not about religion. It’s about spirituality. We’ll talk more about that in the next episode. But But yeah, so that was it. She never bothered me after that. It’s been quite a few years,

Eleanor Hayward 11:26
How empowering.

Elvira Hopper 11:26
And yeah, and and so this was definitely meant to happen, come through me, so that I could share it with the world. And now it’s part of our six month.. um well, it’s part of the online course. And then we practice it over six months. And I also teach it free online, because somebody told me once ‘give away, give away your best stuff for free’. And that’s one of my favorite teachings. So I do give that away. And so it’s really a great way of creating healthy boundaries. So we learn about the Inner Circle, and who needs to be there, we learn about the Mid Circle and who needs to be there. We talk about the outer circle and who’s there. And then the Far Outer Circle is the really important one, the one where you need to put people vibrationally that you believe, maybe at once, or maybe at one time they were in your inner circle, but they’ve shown you that they are not totally for you, you know, they they have shown you that they don’t understand you maybe, you don’t feel Seen Safe, Celebrated and Supported as we like to talk about you, they don’t really belong in your Inner Circle, because they will take your vibration down, if they, if you allow them to. If you believe that they should be in your Inner Circle, like my cousin for many years, I thought ‘she’s my cousin, she should be in my Inner Circle, we should love each other’. Right? And yet, it’s like ‘she is who she is, I can’t expect her to be like you can’t get blood from a stone, I can’t expect her to be something she’s not’. So those people that you feel should be in your Inner Circle, but aren’t, they can be loved from a safe distance, from the Far Outer Circle. You can F.O.C. them with love and light. And when you have that kind of power back when you take your power back from anyone that has ever tried to take it from you. It totally up levels your life, everything gets better in your life. Like like, honestly, I’ve seen this this exercise work for so many people who said, ‘Oh my god, I put that into practice. And my relationships just shifted’. Because everything is energy. And this is an energetic practice of putting people in, in healthy boundaries. So does that. Does that make sense? Eleanor, you asked me a question. And I kind of cut you off there. But what what did you want to know?

Eleanor Hayward 13:43
And what? When it comes to boundaries, like how do you perceive making distance or bringing people closer? What does that mean to you?

Elvira Hopper 13:54
So when you bring people close to you, you need to make sure that they are in alignment with, with you. In other words, if they don’t see you the way you see yourself, you don’t need to have them take away your power. Like if you’re being judged by someone who says, ‘Eleanor, you shouldn’t be doing this’, but you really know you’re meant to do this. And that person is trying to take your power away by you know..

Eleanor Hayward 14:23
Doubting you..

Elvira Hopper 14:25
..yeah, doubting you or they’re jealous of you or they’re trying to take you down. Well, you know what you get to discern, is this person really trying to help me or they may be just jealous, or bitter because they couldn’t do it themselves and therefore they’re trying to keep me from doing it. Like you need to know this is just one example of someone you would want to, you know, maybe love from the Far Outer Circle if there’s someone close to you, you know, like you can’t just get rid of them but you can love them from a distance. So the Far Outer Circle is really for people that you kind of still have to be around but you like you can’t just say goodbye to them forever. I mean, you could, I have a couple of friends that I love from the Far Outer Circle, I haven’t seen them for years. But let’s say, you know, my cousin, for example, I have to see her at family events. She doesn’t take my power away, because I put her in the Far Outer Circle. And so therefore, she can’t take my power. So someone that’s trying to say to you, Eleanor, let’s say in your family, ‘Eleanor, you can’t do that. Why do you think you can do that? Like, you know, you’re not qualified for that?’ Or, and then they might be triggering you, right? But you need to go, Okay, well, you know, what, if that person really doesn’t believe in me, like, I believe in myself, I can love them from a safe distance. Because you need to keep your power, you’ve got a mission in this lifetime. And anybody that you believe needs to be in your Inner Circle, but is not showing up in alignment with who you are, and, and cheering you on as opposed to trying to take you down. They need to be loved from the Far Outer Circle, right?

Eleanor Hayward 15:56
Yes, that makes sense.

Elvira Hopper 15:56
So I am, yeah, I am so blessed because I have so many amazing people in my Inner Circle. You, Jennifer, you know, all the other mentors, people that believe in me and in what I’m doing, as I believe in them. And and we, we care about each other in a safe container where everyone is safe, seen celebrated and supported. To me, that’s heaven on earth. Like when I’m with you guys, it’s heaven on earth. And that’s what I want for the world. I want for the world to have at least one of those communities in their life, so that they can truly grow and thrive, right, like we talked about, you know, The Love Your Vibe Transformation is essentially the six month, sorry, it’s the online program that teaches the teachings and tools that were divinely gifted to me. But if you practice them for six months with someone like you, or Jennifer at this point, and there’s other mentors being in training, and you basically use the teachings and tools so that you are completely safe, seen celebrated and supported, which we believe is an incubator for healing, growth and greatness. And no one is judging another in this container. No one is taking another down. We’re just seeing each other as the possibilities that we are, and we cheer each other on. And that’s why our communities are just so freaking amazing. Like, like, would would you agree Eleanor?

Eleanor Hayward 16:21
I would. Absolutely. And it’s it is truly amazing when you’re witnessed.

Elvira Hopper 17:23
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 17:24
As an example. And I just find boundaries to be such a fascinating topic, because I think it’s.. there’s a combination of feeling safe that you can purge your soul. But then on the flip side, there’s also people who overshare

Elvira Hopper 17:38
Yes, yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 17:39
So there’s there’s got to be right, some dynamic there.

Elvira Hopper 17:45
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 17:47
Depending on how long you’ve known this person, do they care about you? Do you have like the, you know, the beginning bonds to get to a deeper bond?

Elvira Hopper 17:55
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 17:57
It’s the time you share, the information, is it the money, is your physical contact, is it your time, like how we share so much energetically with other people. And a lot of times, like we want more from other people, or other people want more from us than we’re willing or able to give, right? And that’s where boundaries come in. To be able to discern. ‘Do I have anything to give to this person?’

Elvira Hopper 18:25
Right, right. Exactly.

Eleanor Hayward 18:26
So often, if I am not at the center of my own Inner Circle,

Elvira Hopper 18:30
Yes.

Eleanor Hayward 18:31
If I am not feeling myself with love, if I am not feeling safe, seen celebrated and supported within my own skin..

Elvira Hopper 18:38
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 18:38
Then that’s when we tend to want it from outside.

Elvira Hopper 18:41
Exactly. Exactly.

Eleanor Hayward 18:43
And we we’ve referred to that as ‘seeking love’.

Elvira Hopper 18:47
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 18:47
Versus ‘being love’. And I’m emanating love.

Elvira Hopper 18:49
Yeah, shout out to Tammy Cunningham!

Eleanor Hayward 18:51
Yeah, Thank you Tammy Cuningham!

Elvira Hopper 18:54
Yeah, for sure.

Eleanor Hayward 18:55
Because it’s, I just find it so interesting, because everything’s energy.

Elvira Hopper 19:00
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 19:00
And often when our boundaries are breached your your earlier story, is that we tend to want to defend our boundary.

Elvira Hopper 19:06
Mm hmm.

Eleanor Hayward 19:07
You’re You’re breaching my boundary that I’m going to fight.

Elvira Hopper 19:11
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 19:12
And I think that tends to explode the situation. And you tend to want to, like regret that. How do I speak with diplomacy?

Elvira Hopper 19:23
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 19:23
And using our communication skills, and maturing as, as a human being, so that I can take a breath, take a step back, and that’s really where personal development comes in, rather than getting sucked into a fight.

Elvira Hopper 19:38
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Eleanor Hayward 19:40
And.. because even within, like, relationships, like it’s all about a form of relationship and how codependency seems to be the norm as well, and people are just looking for that energy from somebody else, to prop them up, it’s ‘two halves to make the whole’ rather than evolving this concept to being like, it takes a whole person..

Elvira Hopper 20:00
Yeah,

Eleanor Hayward 20:00
..and another whole person to really make synergy, to make an interdependent relationship so that you can grow together, rather than tear each other down.

Elvira Hopper 20:10
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And that is, that is why we do what we do. Like, we want people to do that inner work so they can show up whole, and then they can show up in a relationship and attract another whole as opposed to another half of a person, right? You’re half of a person, you’re going to attract another half of a person and think that makes a whole. But it doesn’t like you said..

Eleanor Hayward 20:33
But we’ve been taught..

Elvira Hopper 20:33
..but that’s what we’ve been taught. Yeah,

Eleanor Hayward 20:35
..from time immemorial.

Elvira Hopper 20:36
Exactly. And that’s why we need to remove the conditioning. And that’s what this work is about. We’ve been conditioned to be a certain way. And we now we can be be observe it become aware of it and decide, is this still serving me? Or did it ever serve me? And can I let go of it? You know, and and so yeah, codependency. Yeah, oh, my god, like, I look at my family. There’s so many codependent relationships within my family. And a lot of those, a lot of my family members I have to love from the Far Outer Circle, because I don’t feel like they understand me and my, my journey and my evolution, you know, they just see me as the old me that was very ego and triggerable, and all that kind of thing. And it was always battles, always battles. But as you grow, you get more self aware. There’s more self love, and peace comes. You know? So my interactions are more peaceful.

Eleanor Hayward 21:34
[deep breath]

Elvira Hopper 21:35
Yeah, I love that. My interactions are way more peaceful. And that’s why she was shocked that day that I didn’t get, you know, riled up. And what are you talking about Law of Attraction is no good. You know, like, I didn’t go there. I just completely..

Eleanor Hayward 21:47
Indefensible.

Elvira Hopper 21:47
Yeah..

Eleanor Hayward 21:48
Yes.

Elvira Hopper 21:48
I was not defending myself. And she expected me to do that. And and she didn’t get the fight. So she left. She didn’t know how else to, you know, like I said, she probably wouldn’t prayed for my soul, because I’m gonna die a sinner according to her. But, but you know, it is it is what it is. And yeah, I just I love this conversation. Yeah, and it’s funny you were talking about? Not, it’s funny, it’s interesting. You were talking about? How do you know what to say to who? Well, actually, The Four Circles of Personal Power is a great exercise for that, because you’ve got your Inner Circle, and you’ve got your Mid Circle. So you need to know who needs to know. Like, does everybody in your Mid Circle need to know everything that the people in your Inner Circle know?

Eleanor Hayward 22:31
And our Mid Circle is more like our business associates, our clients..

Elvira Hopper 22:35
Yeah,

Eleanor Hayward 22:36
our acquaintances..

Elvira Hopper 22:37
Exactly. People that you’re like, Okay, there’s, there’s maybe a possibility of them coming into my Inner Circle one day, but it’s not there yet. So you’re not just going to, like, tell them everything that you would tell someone in the Inner Circle, right? Because you feel safer with them. And and so yeah, the Mid Circle people? Yeah, maybe one day, they’ll be in the Inner Circle, but maybe not. Maybe they’ll always stay in the Mid Circle. So you’ll always have that good boundary. So, so yeah, The Four Circles of Personal Power could actually have been called, you know, good boundaries for living, you know, because it’s, it’s about having having all those, you know, I know where everybody is in my life, and therefore, I know how to show up. And I know how to keep my power. And I’m always at the center of that Inner Circle, because I love myself most.

Eleanor Hayward 23:24
Yeah you do!

Elvira Hopper 23:25
And I’m, I’m gonna.. Yeah. And I’m gonna surround myself with people that love me too, right? Yeah, and, yeah, I mean, I could talk forever.

Eleanor Hayward 23:32
But the Outer Circle is.. strangers, like friends we haven’t met yet.

Elvira Hopper 23:36
Friends we haven’t met yet. Yes, exactly. Yeah. So it’s, it’s basically the rest of the world. So the Inner Circle is though, those that you keep near and dear to your heart, you’re in the center of that. The Mid Circle are acquaintances, friends that you know, are just a little more casual. The Outer Circle is everybody else on the planet you haven’t met yet. And the Far Outer Circle is the one where you get to determine who’s there for your highest and best and possibly, and their highest and best to write so that you can remove the drama from from, from your life

Eleanor Hayward 24:09
Yes, it does take an objective step back..

Elvira Hopper 24:10
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 24:11
And for me, I like the concept of The Four Circles of Personal Power, because so often in our culture, is that if you’ve wronged me, I’m going to burn that bridge.

Elvira Hopper 24:20
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 24:20
And that just doesn’t seem to make sense to me, when we’re all energetically connected. And I’ve said before about cutting cords with people, which I find is an interesting concept, spiritually speaking, that people tend to have like energy hooks..

Elvira Hopper 24:39
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 24:40
..into us, and we have these trauma bonds. And it’s like that there’s like this energy leaking out of me, even when I’m not around this person that part of me is still thinking, and we still have this experience that is draining. And so you know, cutting, cutting those boundaries, sorry, cutting those bonds. I can see it as being like if somebody is really abusive.

Elvira Hopper 25:03
Mm hmm.

Eleanor Hayward 25:04
Like I can see, again, there’s all this gray area, which I find so interesting that if you have an incredibly abusive relationship, then you can sometimes say, Okay, I need to, you know, sever this. There’s no boundary there…

Elvira Hopper 25:16
Oh I love them from the Far Outer Circle. Yeah, exactly.

Eleanor Hayward 25:19
And, and that’s the thing. But having resentment..

Elvira Hopper 25:24
Yeah. Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 25:25
I think is what’s poisoning..

Elvira Hopper 25:27
There’s no resentment in the Far Outer Circle.

Eleanor Hayward 25:28
..there is that it’s just ‘I am love from the inside’. And I can create this distance. But that takes a lot of self exploration and the personal development to look at that trauma, and to look at that conditioning and peel off those layers and begin to heal them. Rather than control other people. Because if we’re feeling resentful, then we’re often the ones causing drama, even without recognizing it.

Elvira Hopper 25:30
Yeah, yeah. And, and it happens, it happens all the time I see it. And yeah, and when you when you love someone from the Far Outer Circle, or as someone, you know, upsets you, like you just talked about, you can put them in the forest circle, but never with resentment, never with scorn and shame, always with love and light.

Eleanor Hayward 26:10
Yes.

Elvira Hopper 26:10
Because there’s still another human They’re another human being. And when you think about it, we are all one humanity. And, and so, you know, to be able to put someone in the Far Outer Circle with love, and light is better than to put them there with resentment or scorn and shame. Because it brings your vibration down, if you’ve put them there with scorn and shame. It puts you in a position where you’re, you’re lowering your vibration. But if you send them love and light, then maybe one day, you’re going to have a really powerful clearing conversation. Let’s say it was a cousin, this cousin decides to say, ‘Elvira, you know what? We haven’t really been super close. You’re nice to me, but we haven’t been really super close. Can we talk about it?’ And I would tell her..

Eleanor Hayward 26:53
Wouldn’t that be nice?

Elvira Hopper 26:54
Wouldn’t that be nice? If that were to ever happen, I doubt it. But if it was to ever happen, and I would say, well, actually, you’ve been very, very religious. And that really put me off. So I had to love you from a distance. But you know, if you’re telling me you want to come back into my life, can we have some really good ground rules here? I can bring you back into my Inner Circle, right

Eleanor Hayward 27:13
Ah Ha! Describing the boundary!

Elvira Hopper 27:15
Yes, exactly. Exactly. Because you know what works for you, so so just because we put someone in the Far Outer Circle doesn’t mean they need to stay there. Right. You could have a good clearing conversation and bring them back into your..

Eleanor Hayward 27:25
The lack of burning bridge.

Elvira Hopper 27:26
Yes. Thank you.

Eleanor Hayward 27:28
The bridge is still there.

Elvira Hopper 27:29
Yeah.

Eleanor Hayward 27:30
You can just kind of close the gate. LOL

Elvira Hopper 27:31
Yeah! Great analogy. And you know what with that, you know, I just want to say that yeah, that’s that’s a great way to see it. And yeah, I, I’ve loved this conversation, Eleanor. Thank you for exploring healthy boundaries with me a little bit more, and can’t wait to talk to you again!

Eleanor Hayward 27:48
Fantastic, Elvira, thanks so much!

Elvira Hopper 27:50
Bye!

Eleanor Hayward 27:51
Thank you so much for listening to The Love Your Vibe Podcast, A Revolution of Evolution. Please join us and the Retreat and Recreate to Evolve and Elevate Facebook Group for your daily dose of insight and inspiration. Learn more about The Love Your Vibe Transformation, a personal development SOULution for heart centered people. Catch us Elvira Hopper and Eleanor Hayward next time! Bye for now!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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