The Love Your Vibe Show, Episode 3: There is Nothing Wrong With Us with Christy Holt

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Hello everyone and welcome to The Love Your Vibe Show. It is A Revolution of Evolution.

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We are Elvira Hopper and Eleanor Hayward! We’re happy to be on Skyward TV and Hopeful Radio

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on several platforms because we are so aligned with their mission to help people on the planet

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today get to mental wellness through the spiritual path. We believe that we are purveyors of a unique

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and personal development SOULution for heart-centered humans and we believe that all modalities matter.

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So whatever helps you to live in Alignment; Authentic, Fully Self-Expressed so that you can

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be a Miracle Magnet in life is what you should do more often. And today we are thrilled to bring on

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one of our beautiful members of our team. Our guest today is a powerful member, her name is

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Christy Holt. She is the Happiness Hussy. Hello Christy. She’s also a podcaster. She’s an author.

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She’s presently writing another book on relationships and she is the mom of four teenage

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boys and you will learn more about her as she speaks. So let’s talk about your Story, your Message

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and your Magic, Christy because the world truly needs it today more than ever. Thank you for being

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here. Yeah thank you so much for having me. I’m ready and excited to dive into this conversation.

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So exciting. So where we usually like to start is asking you a little bit about what brought you to

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where you are. What is your story about? What is your Why? People don’t want to know what you do

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but why you do it, Christy. So can you dive in and tell us a bit more about that? Yeah well

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as you both know, because I know you both a little bit, I’m gonna share a little bit about my past

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relationship because that is one of the most pivotal pieces of my story. Of course there’s

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multiple pieces. I used to be a professional accountant and if you finish listening to this

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interview you might be like what? Crazy! And I so I’ve had a number of different experiences

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that created turning points throughout my life but the most significant one I think was when I

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was in my marriage, and this was about five to seven years ago. It wasn’t working. I was trying to make

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it work but I wasn’t happy and as a result of that, I don’t know if anybody else can relate to this

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I did a lot of complaining and blaming and waiting for my partner to change, and it wasn’t working.

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Right? It just continued being kind of crappy and so you know as a mom I really wanted to do what was

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best for my kids, and so I thought keeping the family together was the best possible outcome

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until it wasn’t. Until I realized and I had this moment sort of part and parcel with this idea

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that my kids actually needed for me to choose me, and to show them by way of my actions and not just

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my words, how to Create Your Happy, which incidentally is the name of my podcast it’s called Create Your

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Happy and so I had this sort of realization they actually need me to go first they need me to show

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them because we all know these kids they don’t really listen that well you know we got to show

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them with our actions and be the actual role model part and parcel with this I have this epiphany

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moment, and you know channeling a little Taylor Swift here, “hi I’m the problem, it’s me” and I realized

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I’m the common denominator in every last one of my problems. Uh!! I don’t want to hear that right?

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Oh my gosh it’s me, dang! And then at the same time I realized I’m also the one who has the

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has the ability to change things. So, I didn’t stay stuck in that for too long. I realized, you know

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what, I’m the common denominator in the problems, and the solutions! So I started taking steps

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to, you know, well… I had already been on a fairly long personal growth journey, I’m kind of… I love

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reading I love reading about neuroscience and quantum physics and people, psychology like all

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of the stuff. I just find humans incredibly fascinating, but I really dove in even more,

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started to work on myself. I started some things like you know bringing compassion and self-love

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into the picture, and it really shifted the way I felt about myself and my own confidence. And so

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eventually what I realized after doing this self-discovery and really finding out because I

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kind of got lost a little bit and who I was in becoming a mom and a wife and I kind of was

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I call it ‘just a momitis’ and so I realized I needed to kind of figure out again who I was and it

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wasn’t about going back to who I was before all of that, because that’s not really possible so it

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was about figuring out who am I going to be now, here, and moving forward and so I started doing

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you know self-discovery and learning about who I was and as a result, I realized that my marriage

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really wasn’t working. And it just really it wasn’t in alignment the hard truth at that time was it

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was probably never in alignment and I was really just kind of trying to make it work and uh hello

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recovering people-pleaser! That played a lot into codependent patterns etc etc. Anyways long story

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short from there is, I left the marriage which for me was the best possible decision, and there have

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absolutely been challenges as far as co-parenting and all of these kinds of things, but I would never

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go back and change any of that history, because it all brought me to this moment right here right now

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and it taught me all of the things that I need to know to share with people which is what my mission

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1. So that I can help women who are feeling unhappy feeling like there’s something missing

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Feeling, like they’re just a mom, or just a wife, or that they just aren’t sure what they’re supposed

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to be doing and to really help them to make those small shifts. Because honestly, it’s not

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a whole life transformation that’s required up front, it’s a series of small shifts along the way.

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Right? Oh wow! That is so good! So yes, let’s give some snaps and you know where this comes from

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Right? It’s like the Poetry Slams right? Yes yeah yeah, I didn’t realize

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that till just recently we always snap our fingers, right when we agree with something, and it goes

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back to the poetry slams back in the 60’s right where all the cool dudes would listen and give

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snaps right anyway! And jazz hands! Yeah yeah yeah, so yeah! So that’s amazing Christy, you are

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definitely an example of what’s possible, you know, for women that have been, you know, or presently

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are, anyone that’s listening right now that’s presently in a marriage that is not fulfilling,

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and you like you said you know we probably were never aligned, right? But you probably chose

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your husband, I’m gonna guess because maybe it was just the right time to get married, and he seemed

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like a nice guy? Like, tell us why you chose him to begin with, just curious? I gotta say honestly

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I feel… like I was actually married once prior to this, and I was now approaching my late 20’s, and I

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definitely felt the clock ticking. And we had you know enough background in common and a couple of

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shared interests. Yeah, that’s not enough I can say that now, because I now have the most incredible

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amazing relationship with (oh yeah) the most amazing man, and like the contrast is just night and day!

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But you don’t know what you don’t know, so here I went into that thinking that was going to be

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enough. I definitely can say looking back I had some self-worth issues. I was looking to other

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people to fulfill me, to fill the void, to fill what I thought was missing and broken about me

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and I didn’t realize which I do now — I’m already whole! I didn’t need anyone to fill in any missing

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gaps. I didn’t need fixing, because I wasn’t broken! And I actually view healing as a general term

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as like a recognition of your wholeness, because to me it we were never not whole so we don’t need to

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to heal because there’s something wrong with us, healing is just recognizing that there is really

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nothing wrong with us. That’s beautiful! What a nice way to say it eh? Yeah, I love that reflection!

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Yeah yeah. Thank you! And ‘just a momitis’, I think a lot of women can relate to that! I’m not a Mom

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but I, as a you know, like as a Holistic Practitioner I have a lot of clients who

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are moms, and my sister’s a mom and it just seems to be all-consuming for women and this

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Culture, like we’re kind of divided into these nuclear families, and everybody’s little silo and

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it’s, we’re meant to be holistic right? We’re meant to be a matriarchy, I believe

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naturally speaking, that everybody helps raise each other’s kids. Yeah we’re missing that community!

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with that yeah! Yeah yeah. And so yeah. No no, that used to be the way in Indigenous culture right?

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And it probably still is right, like they live on reservations, and and um well some of them do ,and

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and there’s more of a matriarchal rather than patriarchal um mindset right? In history anyway.

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Yeah. Because I think everybody’s been colonized, so we’re coming back to that more deliberately, and

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anyway. But yeah, tell us tell us more about ‘just a momitis’ and how that? I mean ultimately, I was

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just so wrapped up in taking care of my kids, and really to be honest martyring myself for my kids

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to provide whatever they needed, to put them first and everything. And I think that’s a flaw in in the

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the way that we perceive being a mother because we can’t actually pour from an empty cup, and i know

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this is an overused analogy but if you’re lacking and you’re burnt out and exhausted and and just

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not literally firing on all cylinders, you’re not at your best and when you’re not at your best you’re

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not giving as much as you as you could be and it’s not necessarily about just getting better so you

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can give more, but it’s because when you build up that abundance it overflows and then the giving

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is actually very natural and easy. And I wanted to just reflect something with back to the

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parenting thing, I think it would actually be really brilliant, now I’m not signing up for this, so if my

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kids hear this ever, just no i’m not signing up for this, but they have often had the older generations

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raising the children because they have their ‘poop in a group’ right? As young adults in our 20’s and 30’s

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we’re still figuring out who we are a lot of the times right? And so we don’t have the parenting

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skills that we might have if we were a little bit more mature and wise from personal experience.

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That’s just my take. Yeah! Did you just say ‘poop in a group’? Yeah yeah like shit in a row, ducks in a row I have a lot of sayings.

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Honestly I’ve never heard that before. Yeah, no I totally hear that and there are you know,

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like I have a few Indigenous friends they talk about the aunties and the grandmothers and you

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know, so this is why I believe that, you know we’re all we’re meant to work together you know? And no

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man, no woman is an island and we need each other you know? We need that community and kids are

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better off when they’re when they’re loved by multiple people, and cared for by multiple people.

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At least that’s been my experience and I’m so blessed; my own son had the benefit of being

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raised by grandparents you know up into a certain age. Yeah this is so cool so you know, I’m just being

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called to ask you Christy with respect to um your boys, like how do you see them

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when you were with their dad versus who they are now? Like have

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you noticed the difference with them? I have to be honest that they’re at a very different stage in

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Life, now they’re teenagers now, and they were younger then, so it’s hard to really say exactly

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what differences really relate because they’re just a whole different level of immaturity maybe?

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I don’t know they’re 13 to 16; it’s a lot of hormones, and um. 13-16 wow! Yeah god bless you

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well just the fact that that she can do like all this inner work and take care of herself, and love

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her vibe, using my language, um you know where you go to these incredible trips with your

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beautiful partner and you know my god we just get to watch it on social media and like i’m like

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“go Christy,” you know like you have these gorgeous trips out in the in the in the wild and the

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fact that you’re able to be such an example for them, and an example for all of us

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so even a mama with four boys, like young you know young boys 13 to 16, you can still live your best

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life right? Like is that not inspiring? Absolutely! Yeah and you should be living your best life,

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because life is too short for anything less. Like we have been taught to settle for far too long,

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and this isn’t just women although it may be more pervasive to women, and if we look back at some of

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the history yeah in in not that far past times we needed men. We needed them for our mere survival

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and so you know, we have this tendency to feel like we need a man or, or we’ll buck the system

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and say ‘I don’t need no man’ uh but you’re absolutely right, we aren’t meant to do life alone.

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This doesn’t mean that you have to have a spouse or anything it just means that you need

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to have people around you a good, safe, accepting, loving, non-judgmental community. Yes. And that to

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me that’s what Love Your Vibe is about, is about coming together in this non-judgmental

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safe space to explore who you really are, who, what those parts of you that you might have tucked away

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because someone told you it wasn’t good, or you know they didn’t like that about you, and so maybe

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there’s some parts that you tucked away! They’re probably superpowers in disguise which is probably

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why someone was bothered by it in the first place. Right? You know yeah, we can we can start to

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bring out some of those parts and I think they fester when we’re trying to hide things

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things kind of grow and fester into the surface and if we are provided a good safe space to explore

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to sort of bring those things to the surface and really take a good look at what’s going on. We can

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really set ourselves free! So I am all for like the safe space to be really, you know as you

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would say, fully expressed, because if we’re not then we’re probably still trying to be someone else.

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Hmm it’s true right? And ‘full self-expression can battle depression’ I’ve heard it said, and yeah and

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and even and Dr. Gabor Mate, one of my favorite messages of his is, and using my language

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is that ‘the antidote to trauma is authenticity’. Right? Being Fully Self-Expressed as you truly are.

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And so these are little hotbeds of, and incubators of, you know, Feeling and Healing and Revealing who

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you truly are, right? Now is it not cool to be a part of that? Haha! It’s so great, like I you know having gone

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through my own transformational experience over, over, honestly it’s still evolving, the journey is

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never over, there’s no end destination, you know it’s an ongoing uh adventure through life, and

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you know to watch and witness other people having those ‘Ah-ha moments’ and those breakthroughs and

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going from their pain and their suffering, to freedom and peace like there’s nothing like it!

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Oh it’s so juicy right? Oh my god I live for that! I live for transformation! It’s just like, and yeah you get

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to witness it at, you’re an apprentice and you’re witnessing that! Our lovely Eleanor is

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the leader that’s, you know, guiding you through all the teachings and tools, and you know trying them

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On, and seeing how they feel and revealing, you know, how you really feel and not being judged

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and you know, it’s just such a beautiful you know space for ‘healing and growth to greatness’

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as we like to say and uh yeah. I love that you are going to be one of our certified mentors

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real soon! You’re almost finished the apprentice program! Yay! Um so yeah, so I want to learn more

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about your next book so tell us a little bit about your next book? Oh I’m really excited about

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this next project and I don’t have an estimated completion date, but I’m going to loosely say 2024

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um I don’t know yet, but it’s about relationships. And not just romantic relationships but really

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all relationships, and okay tiny spoiler alert for all of you listening here, the relationship

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with yourself is foundational to all other relationships! So woven into this topic you’re

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going to see a lot about getting you know a better relationship going with yourself. Creating space for

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self-care, true self-care. I’m not talking like just bubble baths and pedicures I mean really truly

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nurturing your heart and soul. Yeah. And your and your meat suit too while we’re at it right,

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all of that but uh, and your mind you know the whole like I’ll say the whole-ass human, right?

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Hopefully I can say that on here. Everything’s acceptable here. Okay.

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They might bleep you out but I don’t know, I think it’s up to the producers, but anyway.

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Yeah well I won’t make a stream of beeping out or anything. Okay! Yeah, yeah really just like embracing

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your whole your whole human because that’s how you’re going to best be able to thrive in the

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World, and you’re meant to thrive! You’re not meant to suffer or struggle or be in pain all the time

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yet society has normalized that, and so oftentimes we just take it and accept that this just life is

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just hard. Right? Relationships are hard things are hard. And so guess what? They feel more difficult.

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Right? Because you continue to tell yourself it feels difficult so anyways back to the book

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it is really about you know this foundational relationship with yourself and then there is

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going to be of course we’re going to talk about communication, we’re going to talk about boundaries

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we’re going to talk about attachment, I’m no attachment expert by any means, but just an

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overview so that we can understand some of the dynamics that often happen in in difficult

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relationships which this is aimed to help people, you know, not necessarily fix their relationship

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because some of them are not, that’s not the right solution, that’s not the right path. Like my case

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that was not, there was there was no fixing what was never working in the first place.

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But what I can guarantee is that if you follow these steps you are going to find love that love

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that actually comes from within you, and if you can build that up, guess what it will overflow

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and you will receive it back from all kinds of places. So that’s a little spoiler alert

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but a little bit of what you can expect in there. Oh my god I can’t wait to read it yeah I almost

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feel like you’re going to become a love magnet right? Because you love yourself and then that’s

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what you attract. So it’s definitely something that, um yeah, I’m excited to read, how about you?

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As a single gal I am all about that! I look forward to reading too. Yeah, talk about raising your vibe though

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right whether you mean it from like an energetic standpoint, but also just knowing what you want

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allows you so much more clarity and when you know what you want it’s very clear when you’re

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experiencing something that’s not it! Yeah. Right? So instead of settling for something less you’re not

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going to settle, you’re going to hold out and you’re going to find something that’s much more

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appropriate and suited for you. Which that’s what you deserve right? Amazing, healthy, deep

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connection; that is what we were meant for. I love it! You’re so articulate! Yeah, I love it. And you touched

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on it, but it’s like I feel like that’s our culture, is that you’re we’re so conditioned to look for

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your other half, that’s just the romantic notion, and it’s like you need to find somebody to make

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you whole, and it’s like yeah… no. Actually because if you’re coming in two halves, then we’re making,

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then that’s where the codependency breeds (yeah absolutely) and then we’re looking for somebody else

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to fill us up and it’s just yeah. It gets messy. But two whole people uh, magic! Actually posted yesterday

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something that I say frequently and probably could shouldn’t could say more often stop looking

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for someone to complete you because that’s like Hollywood bullshit; you’re already whole! Oh sorry

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sorry again, um beep, whatever. Um you know that’s not real, that’s an illusion, that you can

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find someone to complete you because you’re already whole! Now what you actually want to find is

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someone who completely accepts you. So, stop looking for someone to complete you start looking for

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people who completely accept you. Complete game changer! With all your quirks and weirdness! Yes because

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you know what? If you can’t show that… and it oh it drives me bonkers when I see people trying to be

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like, oh like, I’m just gonna… should I do this on my first date? You should be you on your first date!

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Period. Because why are you wasting time trying to be someone else? I’ll tell you what I did, that I

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tried that one on myself.  I got into a marriage after pretending and honestly thought I felt like

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I had to like suck in my gut, and just keep my voice the same, for way too long right, because

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once you get in, you’re wearing the masks you’re keeping up this façade, it’s really hard to break

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out of that. Because then you get into this fearful place of like, ‘oh they might not accept me’ and

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especially if the dynamic is not good in the first place, it’s almost like certainty this would never

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fly. This wouldn’t be okay. I can’t actually be myself. And I know people do this all the time

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it’s so tempting, because we feel this deep need to partner with someone. Again, like I said

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especially for women, because you know until not that long ago, we couldn’t even get money on our

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own, so you know it’s in our cells, right? It’s in our DNA, and we’re still working past that, but

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women are rising. We now have all the, you know we have, not everywhere in the world, so you know

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please universe, if we can catch up the parts of the world we’re lagging behind us, uh, that women

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have equality. Yeah. And so you know, let’s move forward. Let’s rise together. Let’s bring our

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fellow sisters with, us and our brothers too of course, but. Oh, that’s so beautiful. Yes, the sacred

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masculine is vital. Oh yes, that’s true. Yeah it’s got to be a dance right? Yeah it’s got to be a

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dance of the sacred masculine, divine masculine and divine feminine, that to me will be Heaven on Earth

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and that’s the world that I want to help co-create, with you guys and another team at another level,

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it’s possible, it’s here right now, we just have to tap into that reality that it is here.

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So, oh my gosh Christy, you are such a gem I am so, so happy that that we’ve had this

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conversation. Anything before we close down? Yes, I want to thank you for your vision of The Love Your

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Vibe Foundation, like I see where you’re going with this Heaven on Earth and being a Miracle Mindset

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Magnet. Like I remember when we were just starting, and I’m like, as if I could ever tell everybody

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I’m a Miracle Magnet, never mind how to Mentor you to do it. But it’s but it’s something that grows

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and as we face our shadow, and we heal these layers, it’s just something that grows! And

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like you said Christy, like I loved how you put it, that healing is accepting everything that we are

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so that we can become whole, and to realize we’re whole, to realize that we’re already whole!

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Yeah there you go, yeah! Words! Words are so tricky, and that’s interesting thing about the English

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language is sometimes like woop, hold on a minute, we need to get in the habit of doing this

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Right? Hold on that’s not exactly… not become whole, woop.

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Yeah yeah exactly! Return to our authentic self right? I mean we’re co-creating a series of 11

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global retreat centers that are serving the one percent because they especially need to be doing

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this work consistently because they’re the leaders of our world right? And if they get it everyone

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else will get it and will resolve global issues with their support, and they need to realize that…

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um sorry there was something I was going to say there about the people at this level and

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this is my 61 year old mind that just lost it anyway. If it’s important, it’ll come back, but

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um yeah so I… you were you gonna say something else Eleanor? I was just gonna thank you,

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and thanking Christy for being an apprentice, Miracle Mindset Mentor apprentice, and it’s just

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such an honor to work with you! I can see how much you’ve practiced that Inner Work, and then

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it comes out of you as wisdom, and that you’re (you’re a rock star!) shining that light! I love all

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the conversations, they’re so juicy! I don’t know how people could be like, meh!

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Like it just, they’re so useful and so juicy and so deep, and I’m all about going deep! I’m

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not really you know, I’m not down for small talk anymore. You’re not a surface lady you are, you’re a

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deep lady! oh and I just thought of what I was gonna say, the centers are called Return to You Global

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Retreat Centers because that is what we’re all doing. We’re returning to the wholeness of us

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right? And to help these people get that they are these whole beings, they return to their authentic

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self. Guess what they do? They will heal, they will develop, go to the next level because you can

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only be so much if you feel that there’s anything missing, and you’re just showing up,

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your ego’s showing up with all its mass so that you’re accepted, you’re loved, you get money you

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get fame, but who are you really right? So this is about returning to you, return to your authentic

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self! I am just so excited about this, how great is that? Very exciting! Yeah and you’re going to be serving there

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Christy, so anybody being trained by this fabulous lady as a facilitator gets to serve at these

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incredible places; mark my words! So yeah, we we’re doing it, we are making the world a better place

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you know, by helping humanity become Miracle Magnets! It’s all a choice. We can choose to stay

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in the low vibes and be Crap Magnets, or we can choose to live as our aligned authentic fully

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self-expressed selves as Miracle Magnets, and we get to choose. So that is what I believe, uh and I’m,

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it’s my battle cry till I die! So exciting! Like it’s extra exciting, because you can’t go through

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this and then not want to share! Exactly. So it creates this like ripple effect whether

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you want to or not, but you don’t have to initially go in thinking, like I’m gonna do

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this to have a certain outcome. But once you experience it, you can’t keep it to yourself,

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because it’s like you’ve unlocked the secret to having a peaceful, and happy, and joyful life that

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really actually feels good and so of course you want everyone else, everybody join me! Like

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let’s all link arms because you all deserve to feel really amazing too! Yeah, yeah oh I love it, I

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love it. And you know what? We’re so happy as the part of this community because we get it and we

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just love on each other, because there’s nothing else to do but love on each other, when you accept

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yourself and you accept others there’s nothing but love right? And you know and some people

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think like this sounds kind of culty right? Because we’re so happy, but it’s not because I ain’t that

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charismatic as a leader, I’m okay, I’m not that charismatic, this ain’t a cult. It’s just inner

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Awareness! It’s inner work, and it’s you know and it’s stuff that I’m gonna do till I die. And

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I’m so glad that I have you guys on the journey, to do it with me till I die, and we get to help

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co, you know reveal Heaven on Earth, because I don’t say co-create anymore, I say reveal, because it’s

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already here, it’s already here. So yeah. See making those little adjustments, right? Makes a difference

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in perspective. Love it absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, so I think this is a good time to wrap up what do

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you think? Yes, fantastic! Awesome. I’m so grateful to Skyward TV and Hopeful Radio for this opportunity

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that we magnetized as miracles! So grateful for this aligned path of the spiritual journey

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towards mental wellness, because it’s needed today more than ever for people to

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to heal. Yeah yeah, amazing! We have such compassion for people who are struggling, and we hope that

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you got a glimmer out of this, so we would love to hear your feedback, your questions, and really

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grateful for your attention today. Yeah awesome, and will we put Christy’s information on how to

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contact her in the show notes, so if anybody wants to connect with you Christy, we’ll have a way of

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doing that, and um we are thrilled to um uh that you filled in last minute because our guest was

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sick and you came in and we’re so, so grateful that you were able to change your calendar, not

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your calendar, your schedule today to serve this beautiful uh conversation, so thank you for

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being the amazing human that you are! And uh thank you so much, we’ll see you next time on

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The Love Your Vibe Show, it’s A Revolution of Evolution! Bye, good night! Thank you!